A busy summer

Our summer has been a whirlwind of activities so far. I have neglected my blog mainly because I haven't had more than a few moments to sit down since the kids got out of school in June. Our first project in July was to move from our rental house to the house that we actually purchased. Of course that involved all of the bluster of activity that surrounds any move: mortgage papers being signed, financing being finalized, cleaning, moving, setting things up, and of course dealing with getting - or not getting our damage deposit back from a completely impossible landlord. Needless to say it was an very exhausting and emotionally draining week. On top of it all I had my regular ultrasounds and doctors appointments in Kelowna. The two ultrasounds that I had in Kelowna went as well as could be expected. Since the radiologist in Vancouver had indicated that most of the subtle changes that she had been monitoring may not be picked up by the average radiologist, I wasn't expecting much from the ultrasounds other than to monitor her growth and head size. Both time the radiologists indicated that aside from a smaller than normal head size, everything looked fine. I now take everything that anyone tells me with a grain of salt. We continued on hoping and praying that everything would work out for Sayde. Carrying this huge worry this pregnancy has not been easy. There have been many times that I have felt completely overwhelmed with the prospect of dealing with whatever the future might hold. Yet none of us knows what our future might hold. None of us knows what challenges these precious children that we bring into the world may experience. None of us can adequately prepare ourselves for the unexpected challenges that life throws at us.

Mom and my nephew Ross came to help with the move for several days - along with the Ted and Rosemary. Everyone worked extremely hard moving, cleaning, painting and doing other odd jobs. We were so grateful for all the help. By the end of the week most of the important stuff was in place, but we still had a garage full of boxes. I had been planning on taking the kids down to the coast for a few weeks for a vacation, but we decided to pause for a few minutes and settle into our new home. Keaton, in particular, seemed a little confused by it all. He kept making comments about his new house and his rental house, and didn't seem quite sure where he belonged.

A week later we did make our trip to Vancouver to visit with family. Over all, it was a fun and enjoyable trip - aside from the fact that some passer by took a key or a rock to the side door of our car and made quite a mess. The kids had a great time with their cousins. Still it was exhausting, adding to my already exhausted state. The main reason for our trip, however, was to attend our 30 week ultrasound at Women's Hospital. I felt confident going into this appointment, as I had been reassured over and over that things would work out well for Sayde; however, I still felt guarded given our history of receiving bad news. Brendon came down to Vancouver for a few days and met me at the hospital. We went in for the ultrasound. First a resident went through the scan and took the measurements and then the ultrasound tech repeated the procedure attaining similar measurements. Dr. Pugash came in briefly and explained that she was having a hard time juggling her time and was trying to finish up with a meeting she was involved in, but wanted to spend the appropriate time explaining thing to us and being thorough with the exam. She asked if we could wait for twenty minutes so that she could then sit down with us and give us her full attention. After twenty minutes we returned to the ultrasound examination room and Dr. Pugash spent a good deal of time scanning Sayde's brain. When she was finished she explained that things looked quite good. She told us that the migration of the brain tissue (which occurs as the brain grows and develops) looked appropriate, the gyration and sulcation (folding of the brain tissue) looked normal, and that she could not see any cysts or calcification in the periventricular area!!! She also indicated that the ventricles seemed symmetrical and appropriately sized. This was all a little confusing and Brendon questioned, "So what about the cysts that were seen in the previous ultrasounds?" Dr. Pugash sat back and took a deep breath and then relayed something significant. She explained that she had spent a significant amount of time reviewing the previous films and felt concerned that perhaps she had over-diagnosed and had perhaps felt she had seen more that was actually there. She expressed deep remorse for concern she had invoked. She did indicate that with maturity the skull had begun to ossify making it more difficult to see the interior brain structures, but she had tried to be a thorough as possible to give us a adequate picture of Sayde's condition. She expressed cautious optimism for a better outcome than anticipated. From what she could see of the brain structures things looked much better than originally thought. Still there was this overwhelming concern for the small size of Sayde's head and brain (she had now fallen to the 3rd percentile). Brendon question the effect this might have on a possible prognosis. She mentioned possible developmental delay, motor delay, or a normal/appropriate outcome. Brendon and I felt a great deal of relief, however, with the ups and downs of this journey we remained cautious. We felt overwhelming gratitude for what we felt was the beginning of a miracle. Something more significant than a radiographic error had occurred and we felt so blessed for all of the faith, prayers, and thoughts that had gone out on our behalf. At the same time we felt the continued need for these prayers. This had indeed been a glimpse into the medical miracle that I had been assured of even before I found out the agonizing news from the first ultrasound.